I miss it. Everyday. Sometimes it's more present than others. But I always miss it. There isn't one day that goes by that I don't think about the way it made me feel. The way it shaped me into the person I am today. I miss it.
To even begin to understand what I am referring to you would have to back up almost 12 years. I was seven years old. Second grade. I started noticing that I felt different. Instead of being able to run around and keep up with all of the other kids at recess, I could barely walk down to the swings without feeling weakened. I lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time. My ribs were sticking out, you could see my spine. There were huge bags under my eyes and my hair was falling out. I was always going back and forth between chugging water and going to the bathroom. I was dying.
That sounds extreme but that's the simple fact of the matter. In February when I was seven years old, I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes. There are a few things that I remember about my life before I was diagnosed. My favorite soda was sprite. I would go to birthday parties and split a funnel cake with my best friend at the skating rink. I was terrified of needles. That all changed. Now my favorite soda is diet Dr. Pepper. I rarely eat funnel cakes because they make my blood sugar spike. My body comes in contact with a needle at least 3 times a day, every single day. At seven years old my life changed drastically.
I won't lie and say that having diabetes is easy, that it's no big deal. I hate it. I am constantly afraid that people will freak out and decide to stop talking to me when they find out. I deal with people staring at me when I test my blood sugar or give a shot at restaurants. I feel horrible when I have high blood sugars. I feel horrible when I have low blood sugars. I have more responsibility dealing with this than most other average teenagers, and lets face it, being a teenager is hard enough as it is.
But just like most other things in the world, this disease that I have, as horrible as it is, blessed me beyond belief. Because of my diabetes, I started attending Camp Sweeney the summer after I was diagnosed. And I went back every summer, up to this summer, for 11 years. There's no way to explain the magic inside of the gates that surround this place. There's no way to truly explain the way that it can make a person feel. You have 200 people. Almost all diabetics, all familiar with diabetes. All between the ages of 6-18. All there because of this one thing. One thing that we all have in common. One thing that many outside people don't understand. One thing. One simple thing.
There are many exciting and beautiful and breathtaking and magical things about Camp Sweeney. But I think there is one that stuck out to me the most.The Code of Living. This is something that all of the campers strive to achieve. There are eleven traits voted on by the campers, such as responsibility, trustworthiness, friendliness, good control, good sportsmanship. Things that people in every day life should strive to achieve, things they should focus on instead of getting money or fame or power. At the end of the 19 days that the campers spend at Sweeney, 8 children, 4 boys and 4 girls, all from certain age groups, win the Code of Living. The winners fellow campers have decided that this person has traits that they look up to. Traits that they honor. Traits that they also strive to live by. I guess my point is, where else can you find this? I've looked and have come up short every time. A place where it is encouraged to be kind, and loving. A place where the main goal is to make friendships, and to understand each other. To lend a helping hand to someone in need.
I miss it. Everyday. I miss the place where I met my best friends. I miss the place that I learned to be a better person. I miss the place that I met the boy I first fell in love with. I miss the place that I could help others. I miss the place that I was a role model. I miss the place that was my second home. Sometimes it's more present than others. But I always miss it. There isn't one day that goes by that I don't think about the way it made me feel. The way it shaped me into the person I am today. I miss it.
And I wish more than anything that I could go back. Back to my second home.
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