So I got my first tattoo yesterday. I was terrified. I almost didn't go through with it. It wasn't the fact that it would be there forever, I love the reason behind my tattoo. I was extremely nervous about the pain. My tattoo is on the outside of my left foot. The foot is supposed to be one of the most painful spots. This is all I heard leading up to getting it. But after I got over the initial butterflies in my stomach the pain of the tattoo wasn't all that bad, or at least not as bad as I imagined. With the help of holding my mom's hand and watching my best friend Tiffany takes pictures it was over in no time.
My tattoo is the word faith in an infinity sign. I decided to get this not too long ago but I love my reasoning behind it. For me this means as long as I always have faith, I can accomplish anything. Part of the reason I got it on my foot is because I also liked the idea of a tattoo on the foot that says "I walk by faith" and wanted to combine the ideas. There's just something so liberating to me about knowing that as long as I believe in myself and I try my hardest I can accomplish anything. Working for what you want isn't always fun, but it truly is rewarding. These are the ideas I need to hold on to.
After this last semester, I need all the faith in myself I can get. I'll never lose that. Things will work out for me. I will be successful. My tattoo will just always be a reminder to have faith in the hard times, because when you're at your lowest point, you can only go up.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Monday, December 24, 2012
Baby, It's Cold Outside
As the holiday season quickly approaches its peak and soon comes to a close, I can't help but reflect on how wonderful this time of year truly is. Houses are filled with laughter and the sweet smell of baked goods. Hearts are filled with love for one another and the hope for a romantic gesture from that special someone. And children's eyes are filled with wonder at the beautiful lights and Christmas trees that you can find nearly everywhere you go.
It's amazing to look back on past Christmases and think about how much I have grown as a person. Of course I still could use a lot of improvement. But rather than being preoccupied with what I will be able to unwrap in the morning, this Christmas I'm more excited to see the look of excitement and joy on my parent's faces as they open the gifts I got for them. I realize now that the holidays are about so much more than myself.
Of course I still think about myself, but who doesn't? I hope to get good gifts, I want that special someone to kiss me on New Years Eve. But I also realize that if these things don't happen, it's not the end of the world. I have amazing people in my life. My friends and family are there for me no matter what. In the end, what more could I really ask for? The way I see it, I have all I could ever need.
It's amazing to look back on past Christmases and think about how much I have grown as a person. Of course I still could use a lot of improvement. But rather than being preoccupied with what I will be able to unwrap in the morning, this Christmas I'm more excited to see the look of excitement and joy on my parent's faces as they open the gifts I got for them. I realize now that the holidays are about so much more than myself.
Of course I still think about myself, but who doesn't? I hope to get good gifts, I want that special someone to kiss me on New Years Eve. But I also realize that if these things don't happen, it's not the end of the world. I have amazing people in my life. My friends and family are there for me no matter what. In the end, what more could I really ask for? The way I see it, I have all I could ever need.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
You Were The Soundtrack To My Summer
It amazes me how much people connect with music in their every day lives. One second you can be driving along to some random destination belting out the lyrics to the song winding out of the radio, and then the songs changes, and you're taken back to the summer of 2010, holding hands with your boyfriend and thinking that nothing will ever change between the two of you.
But things do change. People grow. But we'll always have that part of us that's lost somewhere in our old favorite song. To this day I can't listen to "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift without thinking of the summer of 2009 and how I would talk on the phone until 3 in the morning with the boy I liked who would always sing it to me. I can't hear "Lonely" by Akon without thinking back to 5th grade when my best friends and I would sing our hearts out when the song came on the radio. Even for a more recent example, I can't hear "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes without thinking of my friends at OU, especially Tyler, and studying in Wagner Hall or the floor 8 study room; laughing and enjoying each others company.
All of these songs, along with many others, bring back many different emotions and memories. But they're all memories that I wouldn't change for anything. I love the fact that one song can take you from the middle of a bitter winter to the peak of a hot summer, laying on a beach, hearing waves crash around you and smelling the salt water and seaweed in the air. Some things come up at unexpected times just to remind you of what you have already been through in your life. Don't look back on these with regret. Look back and smile about how far you have come. Cherish the people that have come and gone, but more importantly, the ones who have stayed. Each and every moment in your life defines you. Every choice, every word, every breath you take. Embrace them.
But things do change. People grow. But we'll always have that part of us that's lost somewhere in our old favorite song. To this day I can't listen to "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift without thinking of the summer of 2009 and how I would talk on the phone until 3 in the morning with the boy I liked who would always sing it to me. I can't hear "Lonely" by Akon without thinking back to 5th grade when my best friends and I would sing our hearts out when the song came on the radio. Even for a more recent example, I can't hear "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes without thinking of my friends at OU, especially Tyler, and studying in Wagner Hall or the floor 8 study room; laughing and enjoying each others company.
All of these songs, along with many others, bring back many different emotions and memories. But they're all memories that I wouldn't change for anything. I love the fact that one song can take you from the middle of a bitter winter to the peak of a hot summer, laying on a beach, hearing waves crash around you and smelling the salt water and seaweed in the air. Some things come up at unexpected times just to remind you of what you have already been through in your life. Don't look back on these with regret. Look back and smile about how far you have come. Cherish the people that have come and gone, but more importantly, the ones who have stayed. Each and every moment in your life defines you. Every choice, every word, every breath you take. Embrace them.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Be You, Be Bold
Like I said earlier, I've had a lot of time to think today. And here's something that has literally made me wonder for years now, but more prominently these past few days. Why does everyone feel the need to change themselves to be what other people think is right? Why should I try to fit into someone else's mold of what life should be? Why is it wrong for me to be happy just being myself? Because let's be real here. You're never going to please everyone.
My whole life I've been told confidence is key. Job interviews. Go in there and be confident. They'll admire you. Auditions. Oh sweetie. You just didn't get the part because that other girl is so confident. She just has such great stage presence. Boys. Boys like confidence. They want you to make the first move. They find that attractive. Just put yourself out there.
Now maybe I sound like a typical teen girl, but you know what? I am. A typical teen girl that has been told her whole life, "boys will like you if you're confident." And I am confident. Whether that stems from being told that it's what people find appealing or just an unnatural self acceptance in a world full of being told you're not good enough. Of course I have my moments where I don't feel smart, or pretty, or funny enough. But I wouldn't be human if I didn't. I guess the type of confidence I have is lack of patience. I don't like to wait around and pick off the rose petals wondering whether he loves me or loves me not. If you like me: tell me. If you don't like me: tell me. If you don't tell me: I'll ask. I understand that some people like to take their time with these things, but other peoples feelings are on the line, my friend.
Life is too short to spend wondering whether you should have told the guy you've been crushing on that you like him. Or wondering whether things could have worked out if you had just put yourself out there a little more. All you can do is be you and be bold. What do you really have to lose? If he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you. Remaining silent won't change that. So why not go for the grand gesture? The passionate kiss right before you leave. Or the big confession when you aren't sure how it will turn out. Sure, things may go down hill. But the best thing about being at the bottom, is the only place you can go is up.
My whole life I've been told confidence is key. Job interviews. Go in there and be confident. They'll admire you. Auditions. Oh sweetie. You just didn't get the part because that other girl is so confident. She just has such great stage presence. Boys. Boys like confidence. They want you to make the first move. They find that attractive. Just put yourself out there.
Now maybe I sound like a typical teen girl, but you know what? I am. A typical teen girl that has been told her whole life, "boys will like you if you're confident." And I am confident. Whether that stems from being told that it's what people find appealing or just an unnatural self acceptance in a world full of being told you're not good enough. Of course I have my moments where I don't feel smart, or pretty, or funny enough. But I wouldn't be human if I didn't. I guess the type of confidence I have is lack of patience. I don't like to wait around and pick off the rose petals wondering whether he loves me or loves me not. If you like me: tell me. If you don't like me: tell me. If you don't tell me: I'll ask. I understand that some people like to take their time with these things, but other peoples feelings are on the line, my friend.
Life is too short to spend wondering whether you should have told the guy you've been crushing on that you like him. Or wondering whether things could have worked out if you had just put yourself out there a little more. All you can do is be you and be bold. What do you really have to lose? If he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you. Remaining silent won't change that. So why not go for the grand gesture? The passionate kiss right before you leave. Or the big confession when you aren't sure how it will turn out. Sure, things may go down hill. But the best thing about being at the bottom, is the only place you can go is up.
You Need Me, I Don't Need You
So, time to get emotional. Today I've had a lot of time to think and I remembered something. I have a dad. Yeah, that sounds stupid. Of course I have a dad. Let me explain.
When my mom was 20 she met a man named Matthew Bazy. Also known as my biological father. He never really was a great guy. He wasn't horrible by typical standards. He didn't hit me, yell at me, or even abandon me. Well, not right away at least. My mom realized that he was kind of a douche and decided that she was done with him, but not before she had me. Throughout my elementary school days I would spend every Wednesday and every other weekend with him.
There's one point in my life that's pretty clear to me of how little he cared from the beginning. When I was seven years old I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes. The kind that comes from genetics, not being fat. Anyways, you would think that any typical parent would stick around and be really concerned and want to make sure that their child would be okay. Maybe even support them through this difficult time? Nah, let's just pack up and move across the country to New York City three months after your child is diagnosed. No big deal. I guess we can all tell that I'm still a little bitter about that. Not even so much bitter, just confused. How could you possibly be so... cold? That's the only word I have for it. Cold. Your only child just nearly died and rather than realizing that maybe, just maybe, you should spend a little more time with them, you leave.
Now as if that isn't bad enough after that he started trying to buy my love. To this day there is nothing I hate more than people trying to buy my love or forgiveness. Don't get me wrong, I'll accept. But I'll also be laughing inside at how stupid you are. I like genuine people. Not money. He bought me a cell phone when I was in the fourth grade. Now, maybe that isn't so much of a big deal now with kids walking around with iPad's all over the place, but this wasn't quite so common back then. And yeah, I thought it was awesome. But I soon saw through it. Especially when he got angry at ME, a fourth grader, for not calling him more often. I'm sorry. Who is the adult here? Phone works both ways sweetheart.
So here we are now. He moved back to Texas but I never really spent time with him. Last time I saw him was the beginning of my junior year. He didn't remember that I was on my schools drill team. He didn't remember what grade I was in. He didn't even remember how old I was. Needless to say he wasn't at my graduation. He doesn't know that I go to OU. I honestly don't even know if he's still alive. And you know what's horrible? I don't really care. I mean, I care whether or not he's alive. But if he wasn't I wouldn't really feel like I was losing anything. I honestly forget he exist's 95% of the time. And when I remember I don't really have any emotion about it. That sounds heartless and horrible, but it's the truth.
I got really lucky. My Stepdad, Jason, is more than I could ever ask for in a parent. Even compared to if he were my biological father, he goes above and beyond. He loves me to the moon and back and I know that he would take a bullet for me. I couldn't have asked for anyone better or more special to be my dad. I feel horrible sometimes because I'm in the habit of calling him Jason. I know in my heart that he is my dad. I just hope that he knows that too.
To Matthew: You're missing out. I don't know where you are. I don't know what you're doing. But I do know that as far as I know you've pushed away everyone that has loved you. I will take your mistakes and learn from them. I will love passionately and without fear from here on out. I will put myself out there. When I find someone worth being in my life, I will make sure they know that they are loved. I'm doing fine without you. But I'm sorry that you made these choices. I wish you the best. But I wish you the best away from me. You need me. I don't need you.
When my mom was 20 she met a man named Matthew Bazy. Also known as my biological father. He never really was a great guy. He wasn't horrible by typical standards. He didn't hit me, yell at me, or even abandon me. Well, not right away at least. My mom realized that he was kind of a douche and decided that she was done with him, but not before she had me. Throughout my elementary school days I would spend every Wednesday and every other weekend with him.
There's one point in my life that's pretty clear to me of how little he cared from the beginning. When I was seven years old I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes. The kind that comes from genetics, not being fat. Anyways, you would think that any typical parent would stick around and be really concerned and want to make sure that their child would be okay. Maybe even support them through this difficult time? Nah, let's just pack up and move across the country to New York City three months after your child is diagnosed. No big deal. I guess we can all tell that I'm still a little bitter about that. Not even so much bitter, just confused. How could you possibly be so... cold? That's the only word I have for it. Cold. Your only child just nearly died and rather than realizing that maybe, just maybe, you should spend a little more time with them, you leave.
Now as if that isn't bad enough after that he started trying to buy my love. To this day there is nothing I hate more than people trying to buy my love or forgiveness. Don't get me wrong, I'll accept. But I'll also be laughing inside at how stupid you are. I like genuine people. Not money. He bought me a cell phone when I was in the fourth grade. Now, maybe that isn't so much of a big deal now with kids walking around with iPad's all over the place, but this wasn't quite so common back then. And yeah, I thought it was awesome. But I soon saw through it. Especially when he got angry at ME, a fourth grader, for not calling him more often. I'm sorry. Who is the adult here? Phone works both ways sweetheart.
So here we are now. He moved back to Texas but I never really spent time with him. Last time I saw him was the beginning of my junior year. He didn't remember that I was on my schools drill team. He didn't remember what grade I was in. He didn't even remember how old I was. Needless to say he wasn't at my graduation. He doesn't know that I go to OU. I honestly don't even know if he's still alive. And you know what's horrible? I don't really care. I mean, I care whether or not he's alive. But if he wasn't I wouldn't really feel like I was losing anything. I honestly forget he exist's 95% of the time. And when I remember I don't really have any emotion about it. That sounds heartless and horrible, but it's the truth.
I got really lucky. My Stepdad, Jason, is more than I could ever ask for in a parent. Even compared to if he were my biological father, he goes above and beyond. He loves me to the moon and back and I know that he would take a bullet for me. I couldn't have asked for anyone better or more special to be my dad. I feel horrible sometimes because I'm in the habit of calling him Jason. I know in my heart that he is my dad. I just hope that he knows that too.
To Matthew: You're missing out. I don't know where you are. I don't know what you're doing. But I do know that as far as I know you've pushed away everyone that has loved you. I will take your mistakes and learn from them. I will love passionately and without fear from here on out. I will put myself out there. When I find someone worth being in my life, I will make sure they know that they are loved. I'm doing fine without you. But I'm sorry that you made these choices. I wish you the best. But I wish you the best away from me. You need me. I don't need you.
The Best Things In Life Come Free To Us
I always tell people I'm all about second chances, but not third or fourth.
What. A. Hypocrite.
I've messed up so many times in my life. When am I gonna learn? Could this finally be the turning point? I hope so. There's nothing quite like the feeling of knowing that you've disappointed every single person around you. And not just by doing one thing, but by every single aspect of your life going down hill. And not only have I disappointed everyone else, I'm immensely disappointed in myself. I can't escape it.
Where should we begin? I guess let's start with school. Failure. Not literally, but I barely made it by. And not because I didn't understand the material. Because I'm lazy and naive. I'm actually a really smart person, the only one who could really vouch for me is my mom because she's had to deal with arguing with me her whole life, but I am. If I had applied myself this semester I would've made all A's and maybe a B. No doubt in my mind. That doesn't help anything of course. I did what I did and there's no going back. But why did I make these decisions? I can't say that it was the people I was surrounded by because they're all brilliant. Most are National Merit Scholars and one was even the Valedictorian of his high school. They all inspire me to do much better next semester, should I get the opportunity. I can't really say why I made the choices that I did. All I can say is that it won't happen again.
Now for my diabetes. What am I doing? I've lived with this for over 12 years. 12 years and I'm still making mistakes. It's really not that hard. Scratch that. Yes, it is hard. But so is being dead. I prefer the alternative. I want to live a long, happy life and if I keep taking care of myself the way that I do now, I can say goodbye to those dreams. I need to turn this around. I need to figure my life out.
I guess all I can hope is that this time I have truly learned my lesson. And I also hope I have the chance to prove it. Not just to my parents. But to myself. I really need this opportunity to show myself that if I actually try I really can achieve a lot. I can't escape my mistakes but I can learn from them. I can use them to power myself to be the absolute best I can be. I'm done going out and partying, hanging around until 3 a.m. when I should be studying, and sleeping all day instead of being productive and going to class. I know I said in my last post that it was time for a change. Well, I meant it. It's time for a change. I need to be a better person. I need to apply myself more, love people for who they are, but more than that, I need to make myself and my family proud again. I guess if there's anything I want you to take from this it's this:
Don't make the same mistakes I did. Work hard. It's worth so much more than playing hard. And if you do happen to make a mistake, don't wait until the last possible second to fix it. Be honest with the ones who are there to help you. Whether that's your parents, your grandparents, your best friend. Whoever it is, utilize them. You have people in your life who care and want the best for you. You just have to make sure you want the best for yourself. Work hard. Love hard. Play later.
What. A. Hypocrite.
I've messed up so many times in my life. When am I gonna learn? Could this finally be the turning point? I hope so. There's nothing quite like the feeling of knowing that you've disappointed every single person around you. And not just by doing one thing, but by every single aspect of your life going down hill. And not only have I disappointed everyone else, I'm immensely disappointed in myself. I can't escape it.
Where should we begin? I guess let's start with school. Failure. Not literally, but I barely made it by. And not because I didn't understand the material. Because I'm lazy and naive. I'm actually a really smart person, the only one who could really vouch for me is my mom because she's had to deal with arguing with me her whole life, but I am. If I had applied myself this semester I would've made all A's and maybe a B. No doubt in my mind. That doesn't help anything of course. I did what I did and there's no going back. But why did I make these decisions? I can't say that it was the people I was surrounded by because they're all brilliant. Most are National Merit Scholars and one was even the Valedictorian of his high school. They all inspire me to do much better next semester, should I get the opportunity. I can't really say why I made the choices that I did. All I can say is that it won't happen again.
Now for my diabetes. What am I doing? I've lived with this for over 12 years. 12 years and I'm still making mistakes. It's really not that hard. Scratch that. Yes, it is hard. But so is being dead. I prefer the alternative. I want to live a long, happy life and if I keep taking care of myself the way that I do now, I can say goodbye to those dreams. I need to turn this around. I need to figure my life out.
I guess all I can hope is that this time I have truly learned my lesson. And I also hope I have the chance to prove it. Not just to my parents. But to myself. I really need this opportunity to show myself that if I actually try I really can achieve a lot. I can't escape my mistakes but I can learn from them. I can use them to power myself to be the absolute best I can be. I'm done going out and partying, hanging around until 3 a.m. when I should be studying, and sleeping all day instead of being productive and going to class. I know I said in my last post that it was time for a change. Well, I meant it. It's time for a change. I need to be a better person. I need to apply myself more, love people for who they are, but more than that, I need to make myself and my family proud again. I guess if there's anything I want you to take from this it's this:
Don't make the same mistakes I did. Work hard. It's worth so much more than playing hard. And if you do happen to make a mistake, don't wait until the last possible second to fix it. Be honest with the ones who are there to help you. Whether that's your parents, your grandparents, your best friend. Whoever it is, utilize them. You have people in your life who care and want the best for you. You just have to make sure you want the best for yourself. Work hard. Love hard. Play later.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Kiss Me, Like You Wanna Be Loved
Love. Isn't that what we're all looking for? Whether you're straight or gay, black or white, even male or female. Everyone has that subconscious desire to be accepted and to be loved. Everyone wants to feel like there is at least one person out there that cares about their well being. Everyone wants a reason to wake up in the morning and smile. A person whose hand you can hold while strolling under Christmas lights or a person to cuddle up next to while watching your favorite movie.
So why is it that I keep chasing after the ones that don't want me? Why have I spent nearly six months fawning over a guy who can't even take the time to text me back? He says he cares about me, yet can't be bothered to see me. He tells me to talk to him, but when I try, I get no response. Then, I tell myself I'm done. I tell myself that I can do better. And then three weeks later I go running back. Much like the "Lather, Rinse, Repeat" motion of washing your hair; I have the "Run, Done, Repeat" Syndrome. Except, instead of this being beneficial and cleansing, I know that I'm just wasting my time and dirtying up my life with unnecessary heartache.
There are so many genuinely nice guys out there that I simply brush away as if they're nothing. Sure, at first I'm interested.I get the typical butterflies in my stomach and the shy smile when my friends ask me about them. And then they tell me they're interested and everything goes great until, like a light switch going off, I'm simply just not interested anymore. There's no more spark. I start to get annoyed by the constant texting and asking me to hang out. But why? Why do I lose interest so fast. I know it's fun to have the chase and work to earn their affection but some of these are amazing guys. Amazing guys that I just let go. Yet nothing they do keeps me interested. If they're too available I get bored. If they're too unavailable I get fed up. Is there a fine line there that could make me happy? Or am I just making excuses for myself so I don't get hurt?
For the first time in a very long time I can actually see myself in a long term relationship. And this scares the living hell out of me. In theory, this would be the perfect guy. Kind, caring, attractive, funny, ambitious, and one of my best friends. But what happens if I screw this one up too? He's always around. My friends are his friends. And while right now I know that I'm committed to giving this a shot, what if my interest stems from not knowing how he feels? I tell myself that because I already spend so much time with him and don't get annoyed that won't be a problem. That because he's already in my group of friends and I won't have to balance the two of them that I won't be obliged to spend time with him. But I can't help but hear the back of my mind saying, "Alright Lex. You do this all the time. Don't ruin your friendships. Don't make everyone choose sides. Don't be awkward."
Sometimes the greatest distance in life is the space between your heart and your head. Unfortunately, I'm a very much "listen to your heart" type of person. So no matter how much my head could tell me what I'm doing is right, if my heart isn't invested it won't work out. I guess the goal is just getting both to be on the same page. I know what I want, and I think it's the right thing to do. Let's just hope that I can convince myself that this will work. As one the characters in my favorite movies, He's Just Not That Into You, said: "The spark thing is shit... Bullshit... Guys invented the spark so they could not call, and treat you kind of bad, and keep you guessing, and they convince you that that anxiety and fear that they're throwing at you is actually just a 'spark'. And you guys all buy it. You eat it up. And you love it. You love it because you feed off that drama. You all love that drama." So I'm done with the drama. I'm done running back to the guy who doesn't have time for me. I'm done looking past the nice guys. It's time for a change.
So why is it that I keep chasing after the ones that don't want me? Why have I spent nearly six months fawning over a guy who can't even take the time to text me back? He says he cares about me, yet can't be bothered to see me. He tells me to talk to him, but when I try, I get no response. Then, I tell myself I'm done. I tell myself that I can do better. And then three weeks later I go running back. Much like the "Lather, Rinse, Repeat" motion of washing your hair; I have the "Run, Done, Repeat" Syndrome. Except, instead of this being beneficial and cleansing, I know that I'm just wasting my time and dirtying up my life with unnecessary heartache.
There are so many genuinely nice guys out there that I simply brush away as if they're nothing. Sure, at first I'm interested.I get the typical butterflies in my stomach and the shy smile when my friends ask me about them. And then they tell me they're interested and everything goes great until, like a light switch going off, I'm simply just not interested anymore. There's no more spark. I start to get annoyed by the constant texting and asking me to hang out. But why? Why do I lose interest so fast. I know it's fun to have the chase and work to earn their affection but some of these are amazing guys. Amazing guys that I just let go. Yet nothing they do keeps me interested. If they're too available I get bored. If they're too unavailable I get fed up. Is there a fine line there that could make me happy? Or am I just making excuses for myself so I don't get hurt?
For the first time in a very long time I can actually see myself in a long term relationship. And this scares the living hell out of me. In theory, this would be the perfect guy. Kind, caring, attractive, funny, ambitious, and one of my best friends. But what happens if I screw this one up too? He's always around. My friends are his friends. And while right now I know that I'm committed to giving this a shot, what if my interest stems from not knowing how he feels? I tell myself that because I already spend so much time with him and don't get annoyed that won't be a problem. That because he's already in my group of friends and I won't have to balance the two of them that I won't be obliged to spend time with him. But I can't help but hear the back of my mind saying, "Alright Lex. You do this all the time. Don't ruin your friendships. Don't make everyone choose sides. Don't be awkward."
Sometimes the greatest distance in life is the space between your heart and your head. Unfortunately, I'm a very much "listen to your heart" type of person. So no matter how much my head could tell me what I'm doing is right, if my heart isn't invested it won't work out. I guess the goal is just getting both to be on the same page. I know what I want, and I think it's the right thing to do. Let's just hope that I can convince myself that this will work. As one the characters in my favorite movies, He's Just Not That Into You, said: "The spark thing is shit... Bullshit... Guys invented the spark so they could not call, and treat you kind of bad, and keep you guessing, and they convince you that that anxiety and fear that they're throwing at you is actually just a 'spark'. And you guys all buy it. You eat it up. And you love it. You love it because you feed off that drama. You all love that drama." So I'm done with the drama. I'm done running back to the guy who doesn't have time for me. I'm done looking past the nice guys. It's time for a change.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)